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The Toddler Survival Guide

  • $15.00
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Get the baby gates, lock the cupboards, and load up Elmo's Song, toddlers are on the loose. The Toddler Survival Guide is here to get you to the other side.

Toddlers and zombies
 both communicate mainly through groans, clumsily trail after you everywhere you go (especially into the bathroom in the toddler's case), and--upon entering your life--leave you frazzled, on edge, and deeply sleep deprived.

The Toddler Survival Guide is a hilarious parody of Max Brooks's The Zombie Survival Guide (and survival guides in general) that will leave parents laughing out loud even as it provides practical advice on how they can make it to the other side of toddlerhood intact. Written by parents who have studied toddlers up-close in their natural habitat, the book will cover survival skills including how you can outfit your home to outlast a toddler occupation (baby gate, cabinet locks, wine), how you can subdue an angry toddler ("Elmo's Song," mac and cheese, smartphone) and even how you can safely venture out in public together without your toddler--or you--bursting into tears.

Chapters include: Preparing the Home for a Toddler InvasionCommunicating with Your Toddler, Feeding a Toddler, Socializing Your Toddler, Grooming Your Toddler, Venturing into Public with a Toddler, Documenting Your Life with a Toddler, Vacationing with a Toddler, Toddler Entertainment and Birthdays, Surviving Bedtime and Potty Training, Technology and the Toddler, and Parental Self-Preservation.

Proudly stocked by The Marigold Merchant, your favourite gift boutique in Gippsland, Victoria.


We're all about making gifting easy with everything you need to spoil your loved ones. From baby clothing and essentials, to Mum necessities for pregnancy & parenthood, and gifting faves, you’re sure to find the perfect gift or your loved ones (or something special for yourself!).



Proudly stocking top brands such as Jamie Kay, Ziggy Lou, Goldie + Ace, Sage & Clare, Kip & Co, Frankie Gusti, Celia Loves, Quincy Mae and so much more.


It's all about the joy of giving and receiving, and we're here to make your present-shopping experience a breeze. Contact us at
hello@themarigoldmerchant.com.au if you have any questions or need suggestions for the perfect gift. 

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